Newly Commissioned Piece, "Between the Stillness and the Movement"

16" x 20"

Oil and Mixed Media on Canvas

Private Collection of Erina Alvarado

"You tell me to stand still but I am not walking," he shouted, "whereas you who are walking say you are still. How is it that you are standing still but I am not?"

The Buddha turned round, "My legs move but my mind is still," he said. "Your legs are still but your mind moves all the time in a fire of anger, hatred, and feverish desire. Therefore, I am still but you are not." 

- Majjhima Nikaya

Fine art giclee prints of this and my other original works are available here on my Etsy site.

New Painting, "Remain Fluid in All Things"

12" x 12" x 1.5"
Oil and Mixed on Canvas
Available HERE

When I completed this painting, I was reminded of the Charles Bukowski Poem, below...

no help for that / Charles Bukowski

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

a space

and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times

we will know it

we will know it
more than
ever

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

and

we will wait
and
wait

in that
space.

~ You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense, 1986

And isn’t this the truth?  The space haunts me. It follows me around wherever I go, no matter who I’m with, at any given moment. At the darkest moments, it feels like a gaping hole in my small universe. At other times, the space is shallow, but it’s never full.

This space is restlessness, a longing for more, not be confused with unhappiness or depression. It’s fidgeting, constantly going and moving and talking and thinking. For me, it is a fear of never feeling complete or always adrift in the world.  But here's the thing I focused on while painting this piece...that's not always a bad thing.

But even in the best of times, times when I should feel like I have it all, there is a glint of something missing…

I have always thought that I just wasn’t occupying the space with the right things. It is an ongoing challenge for me to be comfortable there. So, I have always tried to fill it. I have tried to cover it up with family obligations, friendships, yoga, partying and work. But, I realize now, the space can never be filled.

As Bukowski writes, there is no help for that. The space will always be with us. What I strive to do is learn to accept it and face the insecurity, rather than fill it.

The space is not supposed to take us over. It is there to remind us that there is more and there will always be more. It is our motivation to continue searching for those things and people that keep the space small. And  there is nothing wrong with that faint indication of longing…

New Painting,"The Valley in the Middle of My Soul"

The Valley of the Middle of My Soul

30" x 40" x 1.5"d

Oil and Mixed Media on Canvas

Available

" A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." -Lao Tzu

This painting began as a study for a larger commissioned painting. I was able to play with the colors and textures and movements that felt right instead of worrying what was manifesting itself on the canvas met the requirements of the Client. In a sense, it came from a more authentic place. It evolved through me, flowed from somewhere in the valley of the middle of my soul...hence the title.

Detail

It struck me how much significance this piece had in and of itself. It is a part of the journey, and the journey itself is home.The path to enlightenment--and more practically, the path to mental, physical, and spiritual peace--begins, like most journeys, with a leap of faith. Through philosophical enquiry of just a basic surrendering of something we refer to as "ego," we may take the first steps of learning.