Saturday, January 14, 2012

A New Journey, Yoga Teacher Training

”Seeing is forgetting the name 
of the thing one sees. 
Robert Irwin


Today I begin Yoga Teacher Training.

I have been an Artist since I could hold a crayon in my chubby toddler hands,at least that's what my mother tells me. I have been practicing yoga since I became pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago, and in the past two years have deepened my practice. The benefits yoga has brought to my life have unfolded in ways I never dreamed. 

For years I ran competitively, logging lots of miles and medals, and I would chase that flow state, that being "in the zone" that always seemed to elude my Type A, chattering, insomniac brain.  I managed to capture glimpses of it, often, and briefly, but was left feeling depleted, a seesaw of highs and lows. I wondered why I ran so much. What was I running from?  It was an  activity I enjoyed initially as an escape from the hectic life of a working mother of very young children, but soon grew tired of the solitude and struggle to be better, faster, more.  I wanted a community; I wanted to stop competing.  I loved the physical outlet but craved something more nourishing emotionally.

Quieting the mind, which is one of the primary aims of yoga, through both physical poses and philosophy, was always my intent through my art. I never thought there was any other way to reach this state of equipoise other than through creating. Once I started deepening my yoga practice, all of a sudden the planets aligned. Through the practice of yoga I find I can achieve that same state for "flow", when ideas and presence and awareness are moving through you, your body is simply the vehicle. 

Now, in my 32 years, I finally feel whole. I am more present as a person, and as a mother. Less affected by the inevitable bumps in the road and the chaos of a full household. Each day, I wake up and practice, or paint, or write about the things I love, before my family starts stirring, and return to my children, anew. They see it in my eyes, in my smile. My husband knows it too, that's why he lovingly pitches in the lion's share when he's able let me pursue my passions.

Yoga brought balance to my life. Yoga is my art. My art is my yoga...they are one and the same. 

There's a Certain Peace That Comes With Surrender

I couldn't have articulated it better than my Colleague at Yoga Modern, Barbara Brady: "Art is not just a pretty pictureIt is the seeing, the true seeing (I don’t mean with the eyes) of the artist’s soul, and their way of communicating that seeing. Art, like yoga may be found in the most unexpected of forms, you just need to pay attention." 

I am called to share this with others. How, exactly? That part has not yet been revealed. But I know this is the right path. And sometimes that feeling of knowing is enough.


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